There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
