Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
