Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Life is so much better after having sex.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
