Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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