He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
