Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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