He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
