Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
