Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
