grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Send help, water and tortillas.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize