What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
We named our party play list daddy issues
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
