Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
