He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
