You're so nebulous sometimes
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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