Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
