fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
