I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
