We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
