Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
