I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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