ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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