office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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