Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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