my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
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