My hair reeks of homosexuality.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
