Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
