By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize