Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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