Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize