You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
