Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
