i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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