Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
