There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
