Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
