my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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