Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
