dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
