Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
