the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
