I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
