He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
