is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
