also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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