also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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