I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
