You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
