Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
