He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I am one with the molecules
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
