so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
