I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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