so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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