I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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