ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
