i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
