How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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