You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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