mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
this boner is exhausting
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
