Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
