Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
