I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize