On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
