my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
