I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
