"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
