Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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