One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize