She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
