i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
