yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
