I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
