When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
