okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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